Is That a HICKEY on Your Neck?

I know I know, I am totally late here. I promise to deliver more prompt updates in the future. I’ll let you know where I am with SBM, the Sharpshooter, and Cat Man, but first, the moment that goes down as #1 funny moment this week so far:

I have decided I want to get a firearm. Don’t be scared. It’s for protection. We could argue all day about safety and our constitutional rights, but it’s all insignificant to the story. Cat Man has been asking me out ever since our first jazz brunch date THREE WEEKS AGO. People, even I know enough to know that if someone doesn’t go on a second date with me in 3 weeks, they aren’t interested…ANYway, he tells me that he is taking a firearm safety class, and this is something I wanted to do, so I say okay – I’ll go. Two birds with one stone, right?

Cat Man meets me at the place and we grab a bite to eat before it starts. That’s fine…sort of uncomfortable because it really reminds me how little I am attracted to him. This class is 4 hours. He makes immature jokes under his breath and basically doesn’t take it seriously. This really annoyed me. We are not in 3rd grade. We are talking about GUNS that shoot people. Fucking pay attention. As the class proceeds, I like him less and less. The best part though, was the moment that we’re sort of talking towards the end, and he makes this face, leans forward and says “is that a hickey on your neck?” Ummmm, OOOPS, ah “ya, it is.”

After class, he tries to kiss me again. I do not let him. Again. Yuck. The next day, Cat Man is texting me “Happy Tuesday!” So this is it – I tell him that I dig him and think it’s fun to hang out, but I don’t have a romantic connection to him. No response. Well, I guess that’s that then.

SBM: We had our fourth date on Saturday…met for dinner, saw a session in the international film festival. He didn’t kiss me hello or hold my hand – awkward. I’m still thinking about sex non stop based on the previous weekend and after the movie, I’m like “ssoooooo, we can grab a drink, or something to eat…or, I mean if you want you can come over.” It was so funny – he’s like “ya ya let’s do that.” Okay then. Off we go. We hang on the couch and talk for a few hours before we kiss for the first time that day. Sort of weird. Anyway I tell him he can stay and he pulls out a toothbrush! Now, as a woman who is usually prepared (I had my toothbrush in the car when we met!), I can respect this, but still I was like – wow, expecting some action? Ha.

Anyway, he’s really sweet and stuff. I could do without the snoring, but whatev…in the morning I suggest we go to breakfast and he tells me he has to work. No breakfast?! What are you TALKING about?! I learn his day is planned out in regard to work, like, by the hour. Ummmm, okay. I’m sensing this guy is a bit rigid. I’m wondering if he can be normal, or if this workaholic shit is really going to be in the way. Now I’m getting kind of scared. I don’t want to be with some boy who can’t eat breakfast with me on a Sunday. Sunday was also the day that I saw I had 3 hickeys on my neck. Big DARK ones! Tough to hide man…Good lord baby jesus. Two more notes: On Sat night he told me he missed me in a pretty intimate way, especially bc you don't usually heear that so soon. Then this week he told me he was having withdrawal from me. Perhaps he means sex. I’m not sure, but I would surely like to see him too.

Friday night, before the date with SBM, I have my first date with the Sharpshooter. Incidentally, he is not Mexican. He is from Bolivia. Duh. Okay so as he approaches me outside the restaurant, I see him – a short, balding man. Oh man. I think “just get through it. You can go home early.” Turns out he is the most attentive date I have ever had. I swear he read my mind at least twice. He has a lot of vitality and a pretty dynamic personality. By the end of the date, I thought he was very attractive, and I loved that.

The following Wednesday (last night) we had a second date. We went and played pool, which apparently is my go-to second date. We had a lot of fun. Still no kiss, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that anyway. He was cute though. He asked me when I can go out again and told me he wants to cook for me. One for the sharpshooter!

So that’s it. Two very different men. My who-ha is certainly finding this all refreshing…OH and I was eating some oysters by myself the other night, and I was asked to be in a threesome with a couple at the bar! I must be exuding sex!

Lata peeps.