First, my last BF was matched to me on eharmony yesterday. After we broke up 2 years ago, he was matched to me on Match.com also. Umm, clearly we MATCH. For those just catching up, he broke up with me. I’d call that motherfucker a bastard, except that he’s actually a pretty great guy. Bastard. So we haven’t spoken since we last saw each other at the airport after returning from a lovely vacation to the Domincan Republic. He broke up with me 5 days before we left, but the vacation was nice anyway. I don’t miss vacation for anything. The last time we traded an email was just a few days later which ended with him telling me that he hopes that I can appreciate how hard this is for him, and that he can’t see me but we’ll catch up from time to time. Time to time? Talk about giving me the double bird…
ANYwho, cut to two years later and his message has a subject of “It was only a matter of time…” That’s what it said. Inside he said hi and asked how I am…how is my job…take care. Sooooooooo, what the hell is that? What’s just a matter of time? That we write bc we are constantly matched? That he realizes he was a fucking retard (not nice to say retard, geez). Just a matter of time that what? It’s amazing how we think our emotions are gone, but really they live right under the surface, you know? I sort of felt excited to hear from him, and I sort of had a stomach ache. Then I sort of wanted to crush him like a grape.
I wrote back that I am fine. I left out any questions so as to convey that I don’t care if we speak again (bastard), and was like “good to hear from you”…although it would have been nice if it wasn’t TWO YEARS but whatever. Man, I guess I do harbor a little anger.
THEN I have an entirely separate issue with a friend who is in LOVE with me big time. Like really seriously…and he keeps trying to convince me of why I should be with him (VERY annoying) and says things like “I’m so sorry if my feelings for you are making you uncomfortable.” And I want to say, dude, saying shit like THAT is making me uncomfortable. I know it sounds mean to read it like this, but imagine someone constantly all over you, writing to you every morning, noon, and night...throwing themselves at you that they'll do anything you need any time EVER...AAAAND he keeps insinuating that I’m making a big mistake bc he’s right there and would do anything for me, like I am ignorant to the truth that is in front of me. I mean for christ’s sake. That just pisses me off. I’m not an idiot. I love you and we have been good friends for 20 years. I am flattered, but I don’t want to be with you. I’m not an idiot.
Funny how someone chasing you and kissing your ass makes them that much less attractive…which brings me to one more…my OTHER stupid BF, from before the one above, contacts me non-stop. The less I care to hear from him, the more he contacts me. We broke up THREE years ago almost. Je-SUS. Now he is a fucking disaster like I have never seen in my life and there is NO WAY ever ever ever EVER that I would even CONSIDER dating him again. EVER. What the fuck is wrong with these guys?
Roster of the newbies to come. I've been cultivating the crop and it's almost date time! OMG -- I just treated them like...corn or something. Lol.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Boys Schmoys!
So I meet a boy. Let's call him The Dummy. Date #1: lots of oysters, lots of drinks, excellent conversation, flirting etc...totally hit it off. Very easy kiss goodbye, which NEVER happens. The first goodbye is always nerve wracking. Is that how you write it - nerve wracking? Anyway, maybe it was all the drinks but whatever, you say potato...The Dummy asks me out again on our first date and I’m thinking faaaaaantasic! I’ve dated a handful of people recently and nothin’, then this guy comes along and it feels great!
Second date it snows profusely in the city. Being a trooper, I agree to go into the city. He actually times it so he gets on the same T as me. Sort of cute, right? Dinner, more flirting, lots of conversation...all super easy. We go to play pool and have so much fun. He tells me he wants to kiss me. I’m like “well then do it!” We make out intermittently. We clearly dig each other. Taxi home...to OUR OWN homes. This is on a Saturday. Now I’m feeling REALLY good about this guy. Conversation is excellent.
Mon or Tues I email him a quick note saying hi or something. I hear nothing until he texts me on Thurs saying he's sorry he didn't write back sooner but he had food poisoning and was really sick. Ah huh, okay...so against the advice of my friend, I reply like 3 or 4 days later asking if he feels better and asking if he wants to go out again. He replies that day saying yes definitely and he's so sorry he has been so busy wiith this huge project at work. That is not a lie since he had told me of this on our first date. He offers two days that week when he can go out. I reply, making myself available on one of the days. HE DOESN'T REPLY. EVER!
It's ironic that "He's just not that into you" movie is just about out. I mean, if he wanted to go out, then he would right? Am I on a fucking hidden camera show here? Is someone going to tell me this was just some twisted test? Is this supposed to be funny? Really? I mean, what the fuck is going on? This one has stumped me. I'm letting it all go, but I'll say it again. WTF. WTF. WTF, Dummy.
time for a chant:
This person is clearly not thinking straight
He is lucky to date me
This person is clearly not thinking straight
He is lucky to date me
Join in at any time...lol. Boys schmoys. Now I feel better.
Second date it snows profusely in the city. Being a trooper, I agree to go into the city. He actually times it so he gets on the same T as me. Sort of cute, right? Dinner, more flirting, lots of conversation...all super easy. We go to play pool and have so much fun. He tells me he wants to kiss me. I’m like “well then do it!” We make out intermittently. We clearly dig each other. Taxi home...to OUR OWN homes. This is on a Saturday. Now I’m feeling REALLY good about this guy. Conversation is excellent.
Mon or Tues I email him a quick note saying hi or something. I hear nothing until he texts me on Thurs saying he's sorry he didn't write back sooner but he had food poisoning and was really sick. Ah huh, okay...so against the advice of my friend, I reply like 3 or 4 days later asking if he feels better and asking if he wants to go out again. He replies that day saying yes definitely and he's so sorry he has been so busy wiith this huge project at work. That is not a lie since he had told me of this on our first date. He offers two days that week when he can go out. I reply, making myself available on one of the days. HE DOESN'T REPLY. EVER!
It's ironic that "He's just not that into you" movie is just about out. I mean, if he wanted to go out, then he would right? Am I on a fucking hidden camera show here? Is someone going to tell me this was just some twisted test? Is this supposed to be funny? Really? I mean, what the fuck is going on? This one has stumped me. I'm letting it all go, but I'll say it again. WTF. WTF. WTF, Dummy.
time for a chant:
This person is clearly not thinking straight
He is lucky to date me
This person is clearly not thinking straight
He is lucky to date me
Join in at any time...lol. Boys schmoys. Now I feel better.
Are You Fucking Kidding Me?
Okay I have fallen behind! A few to catch us up here…Another man on the roster…some sort of professional type who lives nearby. He writes to me on eharmony, we trade a few emails, and all is fine. He loves seafood so I meet him at my fave oyster bar for some tasty treats. Let’s call him, Are You Fucking Kidding Me?!...okay AYFKM for short, but you KNOW what it means when you see it.
So I am at the bar already, and he comes on in. He is walking fast and barely looks me in the eye as he sits. I am turned to completely face him (bc we are next to each other at the oyster bar), and I have on my best cute smile and I’m all excited. He sits and faces straight (not to me). He puts his elbows on the table and looks at the menu between his arms. Wait, what is happening…is he HIDING? Weird weird. I mean, I don’t mean to be demanding, but I spent like 20 minutes doing my hair which, if you know me, you know NEVER happens…and it’s all fluffy and beautiful and I look pretty good if I must say so myself, so for the love of baby jesus LOOK AT ME.
We order some food. He relaxes a little and starts to talk. I would’ve run away except my oyster addiction kept me there. He talked to me about his friends wives…about how his friends are miserable married, their wives are all nagging women, and they don’t really like being dads. As a matter of fact, his friends were bugged out by child birth and now think it’s gross and don’t really want to have sex with their wives…oh and this was good “I mean, why don’t women understand that when a man comes homes that he doesn’t want someone falling all over him talking and stuff?” Ack kkkukaskackough. That was me choking on my fucking oyster. I think AYFKM? I mean, he’s cute, but this is clearly not attractive. Why would I EVER want to hear these things? Ever! WHY WHY WHY? And all the while, he can’t fucking LOOK at me! If you can believe it though, I am still smiling. Oh I won’t let this date turn to shit without a fight.
Then he tells me about his snowmobiling hobby. This sounds fun to me bc I like that stuff, so great. Let’s bond! Dudettes, halfway through I realized he was only going to become more arrogant and annoying. He referred to him and his “buddies” as sledheds…insert deep dumb voice here, “and we ride around with beeehs in the back and me and my buddies bring a little grill and bbq out in the snow. It’s wicked cool…oh and one of my friends wanted to get a drink at a MARTINI bar. Can you believe that?! I mean, do I LOOK like a guy who would go to a martini bar?” So now I just want to fuck with him bc I’ve had it and he’s making me angry. “I totally know your type I say and girly laugh..hee hee.” I’m flirting but I want to spill my wine in his crotch. “I bet that you drive a big up truck. A BIG tough guy truck. You have tool kit thing with tools you never use in the back. You also have a folder that you pretend is full of important papers for your business on the passenger seat. When a girls gets in you have to move it and you say it’s your “business” stuff, but it’s really a bunch of crap. Am I getting close?” I forgot to mention he owns a business much like my ex-bf and I swear, I know his type so well I can smell asshole from a mile away...well not actual asshole...lol you know what I mean. Gross.
He asks if he minds if we watch the end of the Bruins game before we go. Oh ya sure. Great. I'd love for you to watch TV on our first date. I bet our tenth date would be a real TREAT motherfucker...He turns away from me. I drink excessively and talk to the bartenders. He pays. We walk to the parking lot. I see him get in his massive pick-up truck! What a waste of time. I mean, are you fucking kidding me? Let’s hope the next one has promise.
So I am at the bar already, and he comes on in. He is walking fast and barely looks me in the eye as he sits. I am turned to completely face him (bc we are next to each other at the oyster bar), and I have on my best cute smile and I’m all excited. He sits and faces straight (not to me). He puts his elbows on the table and looks at the menu between his arms. Wait, what is happening…is he HIDING? Weird weird. I mean, I don’t mean to be demanding, but I spent like 20 minutes doing my hair which, if you know me, you know NEVER happens…and it’s all fluffy and beautiful and I look pretty good if I must say so myself, so for the love of baby jesus LOOK AT ME.
We order some food. He relaxes a little and starts to talk. I would’ve run away except my oyster addiction kept me there. He talked to me about his friends wives…about how his friends are miserable married, their wives are all nagging women, and they don’t really like being dads. As a matter of fact, his friends were bugged out by child birth and now think it’s gross and don’t really want to have sex with their wives…oh and this was good “I mean, why don’t women understand that when a man comes homes that he doesn’t want someone falling all over him talking and stuff?” Ack kkkukaskackough. That was me choking on my fucking oyster. I think AYFKM? I mean, he’s cute, but this is clearly not attractive. Why would I EVER want to hear these things? Ever! WHY WHY WHY? And all the while, he can’t fucking LOOK at me! If you can believe it though, I am still smiling. Oh I won’t let this date turn to shit without a fight.
Then he tells me about his snowmobiling hobby. This sounds fun to me bc I like that stuff, so great. Let’s bond! Dudettes, halfway through I realized he was only going to become more arrogant and annoying. He referred to him and his “buddies” as sledheds…insert deep dumb voice here, “and we ride around with beeehs in the back and me and my buddies bring a little grill and bbq out in the snow. It’s wicked cool…oh and one of my friends wanted to get a drink at a MARTINI bar. Can you believe that?! I mean, do I LOOK like a guy who would go to a martini bar?” So now I just want to fuck with him bc I’ve had it and he’s making me angry. “I totally know your type I say and girly laugh..hee hee.” I’m flirting but I want to spill my wine in his crotch. “I bet that you drive a big up truck. A BIG tough guy truck. You have tool kit thing with tools you never use in the back. You also have a folder that you pretend is full of important papers for your business on the passenger seat. When a girls gets in you have to move it and you say it’s your “business” stuff, but it’s really a bunch of crap. Am I getting close?” I forgot to mention he owns a business much like my ex-bf and I swear, I know his type so well I can smell asshole from a mile away...well not actual asshole...lol you know what I mean. Gross.
He asks if he minds if we watch the end of the Bruins game before we go. Oh ya sure. Great. I'd love for you to watch TV on our first date. I bet our tenth date would be a real TREAT motherfucker...He turns away from me. I drink excessively and talk to the bartenders. He pays. We walk to the parking lot. I see him get in his massive pick-up truck! What a waste of time. I mean, are you fucking kidding me? Let’s hope the next one has promise.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Tall Schmall -- Bigger is not Better
Dudes, I have a very serious case of PMS. This only highlights the fact that I am getting old, because this used to not happen to me. For a while I’d have “sad” PMS, but now I am just TIRED and sort of intolerant of, well, everything. I have started a number of emails today to vent but when I read them I actually sound depressed. I am not depressed, I just SOUND that way, and in a couple of days, I’ll feel better.
You know what it’s time for don’t you?
I will not have a bad attitude
I am young and fun
I will motivate myself
I am happy. Most of the time
I will NOT have a bad attitude
I am young and fun
I will motivate myself
I will be happy for christ’s sake!
Whew okay. I bet you’re wondering what I have been up to. Weeeeee---helll, is this roster full or what. Oh it IS. SO, two weekends ago I met Tall Man. Tall Man is one of eleven children…yep you read it right…11! Can you say Irish Catholic? At least he knows how to compromise! We met in my town. He does some building stuff so he has that been-out-in-the-sun rugged vibe, has a rough voice like he smoked a pack of Marlboros before meeting me (he doesn’t smoke), and seems genuinely nice. OH, ha, and he has an 18 year old daughter. Yes, it bugged me out a bit. I mean, a kid is one thing, but an 18 year old means you are too old for me. Besides, and this is just an aside, I’m starting to get bothered a little by men with kids. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but that is just so special that I wonder – Do I want to have my wedding with someone who’s already had one with someone else? Or kids with someone who’s already seen it? Do I want all of my most important moments to be compared to his last wife? Ick. No.
I digress. We ate like 150 oysters and I surely loved him for this, EXCEPT for the way he slopped 3 spoons of cocktail sauce on the little slippery fellas, then talked with his hands, flinging cocktail sauce onto my pink cashmere sweater. “Oh no, don’t worry, it’s okay.” Lol. At the end of the date, he walked me to my car and I realized, holy shitballs, this guy is taaaaaall. He is 6’3”. At least the goodbye was all taken care of bc he was so tall, he wasn’t even close to my face, so a smooth kiss would be almost impossible...can you imagine "Hey love, mind standing on the bumper for thsi goodbye?" SO to avoid eye contact all together seeing as I was navel height, was easy. How can you even have sex like that? I can think of a lot of impediments there. I mean with that kid of discrepancy, you'd really need to get creative.
Oh AND, two days later he texts me: “I am going for sushi. You can come if you want.” Okay, you can’t even call? And what’s this “if you want” bullshit? No more Tall Man. I’m not grooving on him.
Next is Agent Mike. Agent Mike works for the FBI, but he is far from the badass I wish he was – so far. He sort of has this geeky, but nice look about him…definitely geeky though. Comes from a tiny town, super nice, and I can imagine that he goes to church and never swears, in which case, this won’t work, so I hope he’s edgier than that. He was engaged a year ago and loves kids (check and CHECK). Then when we talked on the phone, no joke, he laughed like a little girl all high pitched and nervous sounding. I think his voice is higher than mine. Hmmmm, what to make of this. All of this, yet he seemed confident. He kept telling me I was funny, asked me out, and texted me when traveling over the next week…and now we have a date Friday. He is REALLY nice and I hope he is attractive, at least sort of. Good god.
Finally, there are three more men that I am emailing with. Eharmony has sent me men in such abundance that I asked them to stop emailing me matches. I have like 20 men I haven’t even considered yet! It’s like finding a needle in a haystack I swear. Fun nonetheless. Have I mentioned that I must get some action soon? I’m not even kidding. This has gotten ridiculous now. I’m not even sure when I last had satisfying sex…god, honestly, I think it was almost two years ago. TWO YEARS! I’m having heart palpitations. Later my peeps.
You know what it’s time for don’t you?
I will not have a bad attitude
I am young and fun
I will motivate myself
I am happy. Most of the time
I will NOT have a bad attitude
I am young and fun
I will motivate myself
I will be happy for christ’s sake!
Whew okay. I bet you’re wondering what I have been up to. Weeeeee---helll, is this roster full or what. Oh it IS. SO, two weekends ago I met Tall Man. Tall Man is one of eleven children…yep you read it right…11! Can you say Irish Catholic? At least he knows how to compromise! We met in my town. He does some building stuff so he has that been-out-in-the-sun rugged vibe, has a rough voice like he smoked a pack of Marlboros before meeting me (he doesn’t smoke), and seems genuinely nice. OH, ha, and he has an 18 year old daughter. Yes, it bugged me out a bit. I mean, a kid is one thing, but an 18 year old means you are too old for me. Besides, and this is just an aside, I’m starting to get bothered a little by men with kids. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but that is just so special that I wonder – Do I want to have my wedding with someone who’s already had one with someone else? Or kids with someone who’s already seen it? Do I want all of my most important moments to be compared to his last wife? Ick. No.
I digress. We ate like 150 oysters and I surely loved him for this, EXCEPT for the way he slopped 3 spoons of cocktail sauce on the little slippery fellas, then talked with his hands, flinging cocktail sauce onto my pink cashmere sweater. “Oh no, don’t worry, it’s okay.” Lol. At the end of the date, he walked me to my car and I realized, holy shitballs, this guy is taaaaaall. He is 6’3”. At least the goodbye was all taken care of bc he was so tall, he wasn’t even close to my face, so a smooth kiss would be almost impossible...can you imagine "Hey love, mind standing on the bumper for thsi goodbye?" SO to avoid eye contact all together seeing as I was navel height, was easy. How can you even have sex like that? I can think of a lot of impediments there. I mean with that kid of discrepancy, you'd really need to get creative.
Oh AND, two days later he texts me: “I am going for sushi. You can come if you want.” Okay, you can’t even call? And what’s this “if you want” bullshit? No more Tall Man. I’m not grooving on him.
Next is Agent Mike. Agent Mike works for the FBI, but he is far from the badass I wish he was – so far. He sort of has this geeky, but nice look about him…definitely geeky though. Comes from a tiny town, super nice, and I can imagine that he goes to church and never swears, in which case, this won’t work, so I hope he’s edgier than that. He was engaged a year ago and loves kids (check and CHECK). Then when we talked on the phone, no joke, he laughed like a little girl all high pitched and nervous sounding. I think his voice is higher than mine. Hmmmm, what to make of this. All of this, yet he seemed confident. He kept telling me I was funny, asked me out, and texted me when traveling over the next week…and now we have a date Friday. He is REALLY nice and I hope he is attractive, at least sort of. Good god.
Finally, there are three more men that I am emailing with. Eharmony has sent me men in such abundance that I asked them to stop emailing me matches. I have like 20 men I haven’t even considered yet! It’s like finding a needle in a haystack I swear. Fun nonetheless. Have I mentioned that I must get some action soon? I’m not even kidding. This has gotten ridiculous now. I’m not even sure when I last had satisfying sex…god, honestly, I think it was almost two years ago. TWO YEARS! I’m having heart palpitations. Later my peeps.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I'm Baaaaaa-aaack. Again.
Who’s excited? I am! I am! Okay first let me get this off my chest: the lack of sex in my recent life is traumatizing me at this point. Must. Get. Laid. Oh jeez that sounds so crass… No no, what I really need is love (can you hear it – “all you need is love, love…love is all you need…”). Love. Some affection would be nice too. This should be fairly simple, no? I mean, doesn’t EVERYONE want love and affection? Then why is it so hard to get? I am starting to think it’s me, but whatever, who knows. Let's get in a short chant:
I will be positive
I will have love and affection
And SEX
I will be positive
I will have love and affection
And SEX
Whew! In light of the feelings I have described, I now pronounce myself ready and able to start dating again! After the last bout with Match.com, I have picked myself up, wiped myself off, and started again. Although Match keeps telling me to sign up because I have an email, I’ve moved on in search of a new batch of men. First I tried perfectmatch.com. Okay, unless you wish to date a construction worker, do not do this. Not that there is anything wrong with that at all, but perfectmatch.com is the blue collar dating website. What a WOM. Waste. Of. Money. Loooots of peeps living with their moms, and I think we already know how I feel about THAT.
Last week I signed up for eharmony. I mean they must be doing well. They can afford commercials for christ’s sake! Speaking of Christ, I know there is the religious undertone, but by and large no one seems to care so much. And anyway, I am not the devil. I can date a religious person…we’ll deal with the church marriage issues when we cross that bridge…and actually if that bridge is EVER in front of me…like if I could at least see the bridge, I’ll convert to whatever you want me to be if that’s in the way and keep my religious opinions under wraps. I’m not letting a bunch of STORIES get in my way of love. Was that offensive? Unless you are my new husband, I don’t care.
SO I am all jazzed up about this new site. First it sends me all of these matches and to my surprise, they are all decent looking, relatively professional, seemingly normal men. Yaaaaaaay! There is hope. I’m still trying to understand the way in which this site really works, but I’m internet dating savvy…OMG just as an aside -- and if you copy my idea I will cut you -- I think I should write a book about how to navigate today’s online dating scene. Duh perfecto! It will be out in stores just in time to reach our generation as the average 40-50% get divorced and have no idea how to meet people. I have to get moving because the next generation will be too internet savvy. I need to target my own generation’s divorced population. Dude a book like that bringing me good fortune would equate to some wacked karma thing that could make this all worth it, AND i could get my wasted money back! Seriously, I could get on Oprah with this! OOOkkay, I digress…SO, lots of cute boys. Before we move forward, know that you can “fast track” someone into emailing right away, or you can have “guided communication” which equals to sending preconceived questions over because you are too lazy or don’t know how to communicate. I barely have any in the proverbial loop yet, but let’s check out the roster:
Helper: The helper is a super-nice type who wants to save the world. He came from Lousiana and his parents are from..I forget…like Louisiana and Ghana. He is a BBM (big black man), with a very kind smile. We are emailing and he wants to meet. I am moderately interested and will have to talk on the phone first bc he wants to move too fast.
Big Heart: This is a BWM (big white man)…like of the rounder variety, BUT I am not here to be judgmental. Yet. His profile makes him sound very sweet and romantic. He also appears to have a successful career and a good head on his shoulders. We JUST started emailing. Nothing to report.
Blondie: I only wrote to him and we have to see if he wants to talk. Very tall and cute. Has all sisters and lives in my town. Umm hello, every woman should know that men with sisters are the better men. No question. The convenience of his location makes this a no-brainer.
Mr. Perfecto: As I typed that I could feel the jinx that I placed upon myself. This guy was cute, has all the right priorities (travel, reads, loves kids, career, beach), a good job, and he was the ONLY person to even mention marriage or kids in his profile. He literally said that his nieces and nephews remind him of what is important in life. Umm, hello Mr Perfecto, I am RIGHT HERE! Mrs. Perfecto… We’ll see if he writes back.
That it for now but stay tuned!
I will be positive
I will have love and affection
And SEX
I will be positive
I will have love and affection
And SEX
Whew! In light of the feelings I have described, I now pronounce myself ready and able to start dating again! After the last bout with Match.com, I have picked myself up, wiped myself off, and started again. Although Match keeps telling me to sign up because I have an email, I’ve moved on in search of a new batch of men. First I tried perfectmatch.com. Okay, unless you wish to date a construction worker, do not do this. Not that there is anything wrong with that at all, but perfectmatch.com is the blue collar dating website. What a WOM. Waste. Of. Money. Loooots of peeps living with their moms, and I think we already know how I feel about THAT.
Last week I signed up for eharmony. I mean they must be doing well. They can afford commercials for christ’s sake! Speaking of Christ, I know there is the religious undertone, but by and large no one seems to care so much. And anyway, I am not the devil. I can date a religious person…we’ll deal with the church marriage issues when we cross that bridge…and actually if that bridge is EVER in front of me…like if I could at least see the bridge, I’ll convert to whatever you want me to be if that’s in the way and keep my religious opinions under wraps. I’m not letting a bunch of STORIES get in my way of love. Was that offensive? Unless you are my new husband, I don’t care.
SO I am all jazzed up about this new site. First it sends me all of these matches and to my surprise, they are all decent looking, relatively professional, seemingly normal men. Yaaaaaaay! There is hope. I’m still trying to understand the way in which this site really works, but I’m internet dating savvy…OMG just as an aside -- and if you copy my idea I will cut you -- I think I should write a book about how to navigate today’s online dating scene. Duh perfecto! It will be out in stores just in time to reach our generation as the average 40-50% get divorced and have no idea how to meet people. I have to get moving because the next generation will be too internet savvy. I need to target my own generation’s divorced population. Dude a book like that bringing me good fortune would equate to some wacked karma thing that could make this all worth it, AND i could get my wasted money back! Seriously, I could get on Oprah with this! OOOkkay, I digress…SO, lots of cute boys. Before we move forward, know that you can “fast track” someone into emailing right away, or you can have “guided communication” which equals to sending preconceived questions over because you are too lazy or don’t know how to communicate. I barely have any in the proverbial loop yet, but let’s check out the roster:
Helper: The helper is a super-nice type who wants to save the world. He came from Lousiana and his parents are from..I forget…like Louisiana and Ghana. He is a BBM (big black man), with a very kind smile. We are emailing and he wants to meet. I am moderately interested and will have to talk on the phone first bc he wants to move too fast.
Big Heart: This is a BWM (big white man)…like of the rounder variety, BUT I am not here to be judgmental. Yet. His profile makes him sound very sweet and romantic. He also appears to have a successful career and a good head on his shoulders. We JUST started emailing. Nothing to report.
Blondie: I only wrote to him and we have to see if he wants to talk. Very tall and cute. Has all sisters and lives in my town. Umm hello, every woman should know that men with sisters are the better men. No question. The convenience of his location makes this a no-brainer.
Mr. Perfecto: As I typed that I could feel the jinx that I placed upon myself. This guy was cute, has all the right priorities (travel, reads, loves kids, career, beach), a good job, and he was the ONLY person to even mention marriage or kids in his profile. He literally said that his nieces and nephews remind him of what is important in life. Umm, hello Mr Perfecto, I am RIGHT HERE! Mrs. Perfecto… We’ll see if he writes back.
That it for now but stay tuned!
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