So I went away for a bit and now I am back and dating Witty Man. Sooooooooo, I'm not so sure about this one. This is one of those situations where I'm just not feelin' it, but I can't tell if I just need to give it more time.
Date #1: Dinner and drinks: Well, he's not as witty in person -- that's the first thing. Maybe he's just being shy. I mean he DID crack me up a few times...gave me a grandpa kiss before going separate ways, which was just fine since I didn't want to kiss at that point. Maybe he's not shy since he planted that one on me? Who knows. Wrote the next day to say he had fun and ask me out again.
Date #2: Dinner and a movie: WOW! A guy who just wants to get food and see a flick like in the olden days when men actually courted women and dated them before sticking their hands in anyone's shirt. Dreamy. So I go to his house and we take his car. Now things start to get weird. Okay so he has this house, which is only 5 minutes from my house incidentally, and when he gave me the tour, I was pretty shocked at the place. Between you and me, what a dump. Oh shit did I say that? Ya ummm, okay I'm fine wiuth old houses and all and I admit to being a snob about such things a little, but this place had carpet that must have been at least 20 years old. The curtains and decor, ahem, the WALLPAPER, looked to be straight from grandma's house. Clearly this guys needs a women in his life. To top it off, every inch of th eplace was covered in crap. That's the only way to put it really...LOTS of crap...books, tools, pieces of things he has taken apart, papers, clothes, and old crap that you never use like the Lateral Thigh Trainer and 7 yellowed old pillows...and there was dust everywhere. Gross. I just kept thinking, "I could NEVER live like this." ANYwho, we grab some food and see Iron Man. Then there was that awkward 15 year-old feeling of having shoulders that were touching but not actually holding hands or anything. I put my hand on my knee in that "see, it's right here, wanna hold my hand" kinda way. No dice. Before I went home, two more grandpa kisses. Ok enough now. Asks me out again next day.
Date #3: Three days later he invites me over to watch a movie at his house that we had talked about the date before. we're just gonna grab some take out and chill. This is good. I can't tell if he's shy or what, but I need a spark or something bc I'm getting bored and the more I learn about him, the older he seems. Like old man old, not mature man old. Once over there, I start to really take a closer look at his house...I ask him about the kids on his fridge and learn he's not sure which is which or which goes with what friend (red flag -- does this guy even like kids?). He has a pile of magazines in the bathroom that must be at least 50 deep. First, girls don't want to see that because it makes us imagine you pooping in there reading which is NOT attractive. Second, can this guy throw anything out? No wonder there's crap everywhere. We watch the movie, I snuggle closer, he puts his arm around me, fine fine. Movie ends and I realize he's slouched on the couch and his T shirt is riding up his belly and all of a sudden he looks even older...we talk for another hour and he's talking about his friend who just had a baby and saying things like "i don't know how he does it. i don't think I could ever watch that...now he's always trying to escape for some rest." Again, fine, but there is nothing warm and fuzzy about kids or family to him. At least not at that moment. Then he kisses me again and at this point he is becoming less and less attractive to me so I'm really hoping I get a little heat here or we're doomed...here it goes ladies, smooch smooch smooch...like 5 grandpa kisses. I'm REALLY trying to get him to kiss me, like REALLY kiss me, but he's just not. Maybe he doesn't know how. I don't fucking know. He got touchier in that he would touch my leg for a second, then maybe touch my hair for a second...he definitely seems shy.
Here's the thing: I want to like him. He's nice and polite which, alone, is really refreshing. He's strange and sort of shy but he used to be a sniper in the army for christ's sake and he writes with such wit, that I have to believe there is someone more fun under there...someone younger. What i saw, however, the entire evening, was a guy who is letting himself go for lack of a better description, doesn't clean his house and in general is a slob, is lacking the zest for life that he spoke of in his profile, doesn't really like kids so much, and in general, needs someone to take care of him...not a good kisser. I don't want to judge a book by its cover here. Maybe there is something more that I'll really like. I'm just not physically attracted to him. NOW what will I do? Damn damn.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Addict
I may be an addict...of Match that is. A small piece of me is not willing to let go of the hope that there is someone out there for me. Sure, it's easy to say, "well of course there is," and assume I'll meet him any day now, but trust me, there is close to zero opportunity for that to happen in my current world. In any case, after I stopped being angry yesterday about my crappy dates, I did feel much better.
SO, someone wrote to me yesterday and he is very witty and nice (so far). If I had to judge only by email, I'd say he's a pretty good personality match for me. He is not offended if I say fuck or baby jesus...that's good start...oh and he put a whole profile together that was grammatically correct...CLEARLY a genius. We traded a couple of emails yesterday and his last one made me laugh out loud. Twice. Anyway, he asked me out and there is no time like the present to we met for dinner in my town. Yep, that's three first dates in 3 days...sounds like the beginning of a new reality show if you ask me -- 30 dates in 30 days!
Witty Man is 38 and incidentally less witty in person than in his writing (as are most of us witty writers). He was nice to talk to, and polite…does some telecom stuff for a big company whose name escapes me…has a house and fixes everything. He talked a lot and didn’t really ask me any questions, but the conversation was better than average nonetheless. We had dinner and he told me today that he had fun and asked me out again. He is moderately attractive, but I think he will grow on me. Anyway, there was nothing ridiculous about him to report! Oh but he did do the awkward grandpa kiss thing at the end of the date, which I was not expecting at ALL. It was fine though. K peeps bye!
SO, someone wrote to me yesterday and he is very witty and nice (so far). If I had to judge only by email, I'd say he's a pretty good personality match for me. He is not offended if I say fuck or baby jesus...that's good start...oh and he put a whole profile together that was grammatically correct...CLEARLY a genius. We traded a couple of emails yesterday and his last one made me laugh out loud. Twice. Anyway, he asked me out and there is no time like the present to we met for dinner in my town. Yep, that's three first dates in 3 days...sounds like the beginning of a new reality show if you ask me -- 30 dates in 30 days!
Witty Man is 38 and incidentally less witty in person than in his writing (as are most of us witty writers). He was nice to talk to, and polite…does some telecom stuff for a big company whose name escapes me…has a house and fixes everything. He talked a lot and didn’t really ask me any questions, but the conversation was better than average nonetheless. We had dinner and he told me today that he had fun and asked me out again. He is moderately attractive, but I think he will grow on me. Anyway, there was nothing ridiculous about him to report! Oh but he did do the awkward grandpa kiss thing at the end of the date, which I was not expecting at ALL. It was fine though. K peeps bye!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Enough is Enough
Honestly, match and the men on it can fuck off. FUCK OFF.
I. Have. Had. IT. For real.
So comes the nice long weekend. Who's excited? I am I am! Ah huh...Sunday I had a date planned with Mr. Brookline. We met at a restaurant with outdoor seating since it was supposed to be so nice out. This was my suggestion, and he said it sounded good. MMMmmmm okay. So I get there first, put my name in and wait, loving the sun on this 75 degree day. He shows up shortly after, wearing a long sleeve black shirt over a black LEATHER JACKET.
I mean, you really have to picture it: Many people walking around in shorts, flip flops, and sunglasses, and up walks a man in a full out leather coat - sweating. Not just hot. He was wet. His balding head was soaked, his face actually had sweat running down it. I almost burst into laughter and went home. What is WRONG with you!? I was like, "ummm, you look pretty hot. Why don't you take your coat off?" He said, "Soon." Oooookay. Then he said "we should go somewhere so we can get out of the sun." Interesting since I had made it clear why I wanted tot go to this place, and he had agreed, but fine.
We proceed to sit for about an hour at Au Bon Pain. Inside. The whole time I wished I was outside of course. For that hour, it was like being at an interview all awkward and weird. Uncomfortable...and the worst part was that he was red and blotchy from the heat, and he had this sweat that continued to poor from his head. The whole time. I am repulsed and know I can not kiss him. Probably ever. Yep. Finally, I'm like "wanna get a drink?" So we grab a bite and get a drink inside somewhere. In the end, we weren't feeling each other, and quite frankly, I don't know if I can go out with someone who wears a leather jacket in that heat. It's indicative of some brain difficiency or something. Blah.
In the meantime, I have been emailing and chatting with The Doctor. The doctor is basically a short, smart, Indian. I have never been attracted to Indians, but he is cute and I actually wrote to him first. I called him on the way home from the date with the anti-sun man in hopes that it would lift my spirit.
The Doctor tells me that on Monday, Memorial Day, he wants to go for a drive in his new car, which happens to be a convertible. Yes, I knew this when I wrote to him, as I LOVE a convertible. It may have been why I wrote to him, but who's really keeping track...ANYway, he asks me if I'd like to take a ride to the water somewhere and have a cocktail outside. No shit, I can think of nothing better. It is EXACTLY what I'd like to do on a nice day, so I say yes, even though we have never met. I needed a pick-me-up.
The doctor gets me and we drive to the coast. Really it was wonderful and so much fun to be in that car on such a gorgeous day. He was nice and a little quiet, but things feel pretty good and relaxed. We head to a restaurant and head out to the deck for a drink and bite to eat. It's all lovely. He's still seems shy and a little quiet, but he's laughing and I'm loving the whole thing. After that, we take a walk down the boardwalk and sit at the end as it started to move into late afternoonearly evening.
Stay with me people...he scoots over right next to me, puts his arm around me, and put his hand on mine. I'm thinking, "wow, this has been a perfect date, and The Doctor likes me. He is so nice." THEN this happens:
I can see out of the corner of my eye that he is giving me googly eyes and getting his face close. "Oh crap crap, he wants to kiss me! What to do?" It's a perfect scene, so we kiss. The mutherfucking MINUTE that his mouth hits mine, his hand shoots to my boob and he begins aggressively groping me! I mean, I was in shock at first, so I stopped and moved his hand away. The second he kissed me again, he started reaching right into my shirt. This time I said no no and moved his hand again. He proceeded to reaching into my shirt two more times and when he realized that I was not letting him in there, he stuck his hand in the bottom of my shirt...which I did move as well. Okay, my mistake: I was not appearing mad enough, and I was speaking with still a pleasant look on my face, but I didn't want to ruin the date. I just wanted him to have some fucking respect. The disappointment that overcame me in those moments was nearly more than I could manage with a straight face. I was SO SHOCKED. And why couldn't he hear "no"? Why would he ever think that was okay...and okay to do over and over? I need my therapist.
Now he was not much bigger than me and I was never concerned for my safety. Why did he think that was okay? I was wearing a shirt that showed cleavage which I never really do, but I was being a little sassy and it's summer. Did he think it was okay because he could see my cleavage? Did he just want sex from me and nothing else? What what what?
Finally he gets that this is not going to happen the way he wants. We hit one last bar and have a drink, then head back to the car as the sun starts setting. Never in this time was he physically affectionate, other than the groping. The drive back was fine, and when we approached my house, he asked where people park when they come over. I tell him, and start to think "Why? Why do you want to know? You are not parking. You are dropping me off you arrogant assumptive asshole." So he's parking the car and I don't know what to do. All of this is making me realize that I do need to be meaner when someone is out of line. I tend to want to make light of it, but I needed to just ask him what he was doing and tell him no no no no.
After the car is parked, I grab my coat and go to get out... Then he says to me in this quiet wished-he-sounded-sexy voice, "Do you want me to come in? We could have a glass of wine and talk." I abruptly said, "No. I don't think that's a good idea. I had fun today but I don't want to do that." He said "I understand." Wine? Talk?! Do I have "stupid" on my forehead? And for the love of mary magdaline, joseph, noah and his arc...WHY would you ask me that?! Why? Why? WHY?!!!!!! ...After I clearly did not want that...if you know the answer, help me understand. If I missing something, tell me. Please.
The minute I shut the door to my condo behind me, I burst into tears. I don't understand what I am doing wrong, or if it has to do with me at all. I don't know how to fix it. It was so nice, and then so bad. I DO know that I am all done for now. That one broke me. Enough is enough.
I. Have. Had. IT. For real.
So comes the nice long weekend. Who's excited? I am I am! Ah huh...Sunday I had a date planned with Mr. Brookline. We met at a restaurant with outdoor seating since it was supposed to be so nice out. This was my suggestion, and he said it sounded good. MMMmmmm okay. So I get there first, put my name in and wait, loving the sun on this 75 degree day. He shows up shortly after, wearing a long sleeve black shirt over a black LEATHER JACKET.
I mean, you really have to picture it: Many people walking around in shorts, flip flops, and sunglasses, and up walks a man in a full out leather coat - sweating. Not just hot. He was wet. His balding head was soaked, his face actually had sweat running down it. I almost burst into laughter and went home. What is WRONG with you!? I was like, "ummm, you look pretty hot. Why don't you take your coat off?" He said, "Soon." Oooookay. Then he said "we should go somewhere so we can get out of the sun." Interesting since I had made it clear why I wanted tot go to this place, and he had agreed, but fine.
We proceed to sit for about an hour at Au Bon Pain. Inside. The whole time I wished I was outside of course. For that hour, it was like being at an interview all awkward and weird. Uncomfortable...and the worst part was that he was red and blotchy from the heat, and he had this sweat that continued to poor from his head. The whole time. I am repulsed and know I can not kiss him. Probably ever. Yep. Finally, I'm like "wanna get a drink?" So we grab a bite and get a drink inside somewhere. In the end, we weren't feeling each other, and quite frankly, I don't know if I can go out with someone who wears a leather jacket in that heat. It's indicative of some brain difficiency or something. Blah.
In the meantime, I have been emailing and chatting with The Doctor. The doctor is basically a short, smart, Indian. I have never been attracted to Indians, but he is cute and I actually wrote to him first. I called him on the way home from the date with the anti-sun man in hopes that it would lift my spirit.
The Doctor tells me that on Monday, Memorial Day, he wants to go for a drive in his new car, which happens to be a convertible. Yes, I knew this when I wrote to him, as I LOVE a convertible. It may have been why I wrote to him, but who's really keeping track...ANYway, he asks me if I'd like to take a ride to the water somewhere and have a cocktail outside. No shit, I can think of nothing better. It is EXACTLY what I'd like to do on a nice day, so I say yes, even though we have never met. I needed a pick-me-up.
The doctor gets me and we drive to the coast. Really it was wonderful and so much fun to be in that car on such a gorgeous day. He was nice and a little quiet, but things feel pretty good and relaxed. We head to a restaurant and head out to the deck for a drink and bite to eat. It's all lovely. He's still seems shy and a little quiet, but he's laughing and I'm loving the whole thing. After that, we take a walk down the boardwalk and sit at the end as it started to move into late afternoonearly evening.
Stay with me people...he scoots over right next to me, puts his arm around me, and put his hand on mine. I'm thinking, "wow, this has been a perfect date, and The Doctor likes me. He is so nice." THEN this happens:
I can see out of the corner of my eye that he is giving me googly eyes and getting his face close. "Oh crap crap, he wants to kiss me! What to do?" It's a perfect scene, so we kiss. The mutherfucking MINUTE that his mouth hits mine, his hand shoots to my boob and he begins aggressively groping me! I mean, I was in shock at first, so I stopped and moved his hand away. The second he kissed me again, he started reaching right into my shirt. This time I said no no and moved his hand again. He proceeded to reaching into my shirt two more times and when he realized that I was not letting him in there, he stuck his hand in the bottom of my shirt...which I did move as well. Okay, my mistake: I was not appearing mad enough, and I was speaking with still a pleasant look on my face, but I didn't want to ruin the date. I just wanted him to have some fucking respect. The disappointment that overcame me in those moments was nearly more than I could manage with a straight face. I was SO SHOCKED. And why couldn't he hear "no"? Why would he ever think that was okay...and okay to do over and over? I need my therapist.
Now he was not much bigger than me and I was never concerned for my safety. Why did he think that was okay? I was wearing a shirt that showed cleavage which I never really do, but I was being a little sassy and it's summer. Did he think it was okay because he could see my cleavage? Did he just want sex from me and nothing else? What what what?
Finally he gets that this is not going to happen the way he wants. We hit one last bar and have a drink, then head back to the car as the sun starts setting. Never in this time was he physically affectionate, other than the groping. The drive back was fine, and when we approached my house, he asked where people park when they come over. I tell him, and start to think "Why? Why do you want to know? You are not parking. You are dropping me off you arrogant assumptive asshole." So he's parking the car and I don't know what to do. All of this is making me realize that I do need to be meaner when someone is out of line. I tend to want to make light of it, but I needed to just ask him what he was doing and tell him no no no no.
After the car is parked, I grab my coat and go to get out... Then he says to me in this quiet wished-he-sounded-sexy voice, "Do you want me to come in? We could have a glass of wine and talk." I abruptly said, "No. I don't think that's a good idea. I had fun today but I don't want to do that." He said "I understand." Wine? Talk?! Do I have "stupid" on my forehead? And for the love of mary magdaline, joseph, noah and his arc...WHY would you ask me that?! Why? Why? WHY?!!!!!! ...After I clearly did not want that...if you know the answer, help me understand. If I missing something, tell me. Please.
The minute I shut the door to my condo behind me, I burst into tears. I don't understand what I am doing wrong, or if it has to do with me at all. I don't know how to fix it. It was so nice, and then so bad. I DO know that I am all done for now. That one broke me. Enough is enough.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Stud to Dud
The Lawyer is officially out of the picture. What a disappointment. He asked me out for a Friday before I had to do some traveling, then ditched last minute because he was "sick" and "busy." Hmph. I can take a hint.
Then while I was on my trip, he sent a one liner of "how are you," only to follow it up with another one liner "when are you back," to not respond at all when I told him I'd be back. I thought for a second there that our crab-cake-eating-boob-looking affair was back on, but mmmmmm, not so much. Now, I'm over it. Truth is, I was never really taken by it all but still, what a dud. ...And furthermore, what was wrong? I hate that. I hate not knowing. Now I have the luxury of wondering if he thought I was fat when he finally saw me naked...or what? What was it?! Damn him.
Anyway, Mr. Brookline has been IMing and emailing me all last week and this week but he's too busy to get together during the week so we have a date set for Sunday this weekend. Seems nice, but I'm not getting my hopes up. No way Jose.
Let's chant:
I will not be bitter
I will not be a spinster
I will not be a bitter spinster
I will not be bitter
I will not be a spinster
I will not be a bitter spinster...
Then while I was on my trip, he sent a one liner of "how are you," only to follow it up with another one liner "when are you back," to not respond at all when I told him I'd be back. I thought for a second there that our crab-cake-eating-boob-looking affair was back on, but mmmmmm, not so much. Now, I'm over it. Truth is, I was never really taken by it all but still, what a dud. ...And furthermore, what was wrong? I hate that. I hate not knowing. Now I have the luxury of wondering if he thought I was fat when he finally saw me naked...or what? What was it?! Damn him.
Anyway, Mr. Brookline has been IMing and emailing me all last week and this week but he's too busy to get together during the week so we have a date set for Sunday this weekend. Seems nice, but I'm not getting my hopes up. No way Jose.
Let's chant:
I will not be bitter
I will not be a spinster
I will not be a bitter spinster
I will not be bitter
I will not be a spinster
I will not be a bitter spinster...
Monday, May 12, 2008
Court is Dismissed
The Lawyer has truly confused me. He basically blew me off this past week. I don’t want to overanalyze, but I also don’t want to over-react, so I sent him a message just saying --- I can’t tell if you are not interested or just really busy, but I wanted to check in to see if you wanted to go out again. Maybe that was too forward, but I’m just going to stop calling or writing now because I don’t feel like he wants to proceed. I just don’t like guessing. Well that was a dud. It does beg the question: What was the problem? Did I do something? Why the fast start and stop? Now I have dating whiplash.
I do have a tentative date with My Brookline for the weekend that I return from CA, where I am this week. He has sent me about 4 emails so far and we spoke the other day. I’ll give him a call this week also. He appears to be relatively normal, and loves the city. He DID say “I can’t imagine living in the suburbs, but I can live with that for now.” Okay buddy, if you can afford to live in the metropolis of Brookline and own, then more power to you…”
I do have a tentative date with My Brookline for the weekend that I return from CA, where I am this week. He has sent me about 4 emails so far and we spoke the other day. I’ll give him a call this week also. He appears to be relatively normal, and loves the city. He DID say “I can’t imagine living in the suburbs, but I can live with that for now.” Okay buddy, if you can afford to live in the metropolis of Brookline and own, then more power to you…”
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