Evidenciary Support

I have evidentiary support that The Lawyer totally digs me. I also have begun to ferret out and use all legal terms that I can think of in honor of this great occassion.

Before I start, let me say however, that it is not clear to me exactly what I think of The Lawyer. So my peeps, and you know who you are, don't start buying wedding gifts yet. Overall, I like him. He's really nice, and he keeps complimenting me, which I still don't trust to be honest...men always compliment you when they want something. Usually what they want is sex, but you didn't need me to say that to know what the answer was. Nonetheless, he keeps saying really sweet and strangely appreciative things to me and I like it.

When he speaks he sounds smart, which I have learned is a MAJOR turn on for me. No kidding, I got totally hot and bothered because he used the word "genesis" in normal conversation. This has generated a series of x-rated role playing scenarios in my mind, and with a little courage I surely can execute these... but I digress. We'll save the porn for a little later. Okay fine, I also have a strange desire to get it on in his mercedes simply because it seems so wrong. It could only get better for me if it was in a church parking lot...now THAT is wrong, but I like it and if there is a god, he's happy for me to have sex and he has a sense of humor so stop cringing. I used to think I was a good girl who wanted to do bad things, but really I am a bad girl who works really hard to be good. I said relax people. There is SO MUCH MORE where that came from.

Sooooooo, I saw him Sunday which I told you about, then he emailed and called me Monday and asked me out again but I couldn't, then he emailed me and called me at work on Tuesday to ask me out again...are we seeing a pattern here? Between my gym appointment and him meeting a client, we met for a drink and app again at my favorite location per his suggestion. Fine by me. I found myself all weird and giddy...I crushed my workout like I had superpowers because I was excited, and I even took the time to blow dry my hair, a true commitment to the 45 minutes we were going to have to hang. He was obviously a little high strung from the day, but he said that spending time with me was relaxing and fun and he wanted to fit it in because it made his day better. Aaaawwww. Don't laugh, I can be relaxed!

So one steamy goodbye later and we have another date this Saturday. No doubt this will be a sleep over. I realize that maybe I seem easy, since as of today we've only known each other for like 7 days, but I'm a woman in my 30s here...and christ it's been like over a year since I've had satisfying sex...sorry back to the porn for a sec...I really do hope he has some understanding of the female body because most men are utterly, and I mean REALLY confused...guys, oral sex is for pleasure not lubricatory purposes only, and by the way don't use your spit for anything it's not meant for because that's actually sort of gross to me...we don't actually like having our knees anywhere near our ears, as this causes fear of one's spine snapping...and we don't want you to go on forever with no decent foreplay or interplay (if you will). This only makes us have to fake an orgasm to get you to believe you can just finish already. There I said it. Perhaps this doesn't apply to all women, but it applies to most - trust me. Clearly my mind has fallen into the gutter and it cannot get out.

The downside -- I can't tell if he's boring. He asked me where I work, but nothing about what I actually do all day. I hate that. I'm smart too you know. He's just not quite as wacky as I am in general, so I'm going to need to know he can really let loose and laugh at himself. Maybe he just needs more leeway to switch personas after a day of dealing with custody cases and divorces. He said he doesn't have a dog and that it's his parents but I think it's his and he sort of twisted the truth because I said I wouldn't see him if he had a pet dog. When I'm wheezing around his house, he will learn that i am not kidding about this point. More upside -- he asked me to call him when I got home last night so he knew I was safe even though I only live 2 blocks from where we were. He called me first thing this morning to tell me he enjoyed himself last night and he's been thinking about me since he woke up. I just hope he's not a stalker. Oh and I found his company's website yesterday so he's legit...and so smart. I LOVE that.

Okay so one more thing...last night we were talking and I made a joke about something like, "ya for that I'm gonna need a Xanax and a stiff drink." I was kidding and being my normal sarcastic self, and he immediately was like - "do you take Xanax?" Then this happened:

Me: Aaahhh no.
Lawyer: Do you take any other anti-depressants?
M: Do i seem depressed? Ahhh, okay ya, but not because I am depressed.
L: Anxiety?
M: Yes but not really now. From before, but these are loaded questions so there's obviously a lot more to that.
L: Do you have issues with men?
M: No. It's family stuff. Actually, I AM hypersensitive to assholes.
L: What do you mean?
M: Asshole men, I can't tolerate that, and it makes me really really angry.
L: Have you dated a lot of assholes?
M: No, but I spent most of my life living with one and he treated the women in my family like crap.
L: Did anything really bad happen to you when you were a kid?
M: Not like BAD bad. I mean, not horrifying.
L: So no one beat you up or anything, right?
M: Not physically...

I object!! Insert a strong feeling of discomfort here. First of all, these were all personal questions and he was firing them off FAST like, well, a lawyer, with really no regard for how personal they were. He does family law so he hears this stuff, and far worse, all day long. I do not mind telling the truth, and understand a curiousity about the answers I was giving, but I am really nervous I gave the wrong impression. I don't want for him to think I am broken. Who wants something that's broken? ...And I didn't get into it because I was sitting at an oyster bar right next to ten other people. So I followed up by saying stuff like ..."but I mean I have seen a therapist for a while and I swear it was the best decision I ever made. I feel better now mentally than I ever have." And that's the truth. And he only looked at me (very matter of fact) and said, "don't worry, it's forgotten. It's not a big deal I was just curious. This isn't strange stuff to me." ANYway, that was weird and we just moved on...I know he can see right through me though...I have no real reason to be concerned about this because he just keeps on calling me anyway, but still, now I feel like I have to talk about it again to be clear about the situation. Why did he have to go there on like, our third date? ...And of course, it would be unlike me to back down so I wanted him to see I wasn't scared and I am honest so I just said the truth. Anyway, that bothers me a little, but I should move on too.

Long story, well, LONG...things are good with The Lawyer. I can't help but be suspicious of how nice he's being, but i will not allow this to show because that's me, not him. I look forward to seeing him soon. I wonder if I should get myself a gavel for that role playing...