Enough is Enough

Honestly, match and the men on it can fuck off. FUCK OFF.

I. Have. Had. IT. For real.

So comes the nice long weekend. Who's excited? I am I am! Ah huh...Sunday I had a date planned with Mr. Brookline. We met at a restaurant with outdoor seating since it was supposed to be so nice out. This was my suggestion, and he said it sounded good. MMMmmmm okay. So I get there first, put my name in and wait, loving the sun on this 75 degree day. He shows up shortly after, wearing a long sleeve black shirt over a black LEATHER JACKET.

I mean, you really have to picture it: Many people walking around in shorts, flip flops, and sunglasses, and up walks a man in a full out leather coat - sweating. Not just hot. He was wet. His balding head was soaked, his face actually had sweat running down it. I almost burst into laughter and went home. What is WRONG with you!? I was like, "ummm, you look pretty hot. Why don't you take your coat off?" He said, "Soon." Oooookay. Then he said "we should go somewhere so we can get out of the sun." Interesting since I had made it clear why I wanted tot go to this place, and he had agreed, but fine.

We proceed to sit for about an hour at Au Bon Pain. Inside. The whole time I wished I was outside of course. For that hour, it was like being at an interview all awkward and weird. Uncomfortable...and the worst part was that he was red and blotchy from the heat, and he had this sweat that continued to poor from his head. The whole time. I am repulsed and know I can not kiss him. Probably ever. Yep. Finally, I'm like "wanna get a drink?" So we grab a bite and get a drink inside somewhere. In the end, we weren't feeling each other, and quite frankly, I don't know if I can go out with someone who wears a leather jacket in that heat. It's indicative of some brain difficiency or something. Blah.

In the meantime, I have been emailing and chatting with The Doctor. The doctor is basically a short, smart, Indian. I have never been attracted to Indians, but he is cute and I actually wrote to him first. I called him on the way home from the date with the anti-sun man in hopes that it would lift my spirit.

The Doctor tells me that on Monday, Memorial Day, he wants to go for a drive in his new car, which happens to be a convertible. Yes, I knew this when I wrote to him, as I LOVE a convertible. It may have been why I wrote to him, but who's really keeping track...ANYway, he asks me if I'd like to take a ride to the water somewhere and have a cocktail outside. No shit, I can think of nothing better. It is EXACTLY what I'd like to do on a nice day, so I say yes, even though we have never met. I needed a pick-me-up.

The doctor gets me and we drive to the coast. Really it was wonderful and so much fun to be in that car on such a gorgeous day. He was nice and a little quiet, but things feel pretty good and relaxed. We head to a restaurant and head out to the deck for a drink and bite to eat. It's all lovely. He's still seems shy and a little quiet, but he's laughing and I'm loving the whole thing. After that, we take a walk down the boardwalk and sit at the end as it started to move into late afternoonearly evening.

Stay with me people...he scoots over right next to me, puts his arm around me, and put his hand on mine. I'm thinking, "wow, this has been a perfect date, and The Doctor likes me. He is so nice." THEN this happens:

I can see out of the corner of my eye that he is giving me googly eyes and getting his face close. "Oh crap crap, he wants to kiss me! What to do?" It's a perfect scene, so we kiss. The mutherfucking MINUTE that his mouth hits mine, his hand shoots to my boob and he begins aggressively groping me! I mean, I was in shock at first, so I stopped and moved his hand away. The second he kissed me again, he started reaching right into my shirt. This time I said no no and moved his hand again. He proceeded to reaching into my shirt two more times and when he realized that I was not letting him in there, he stuck his hand in the bottom of my shirt...which I did move as well. Okay, my mistake: I was not appearing mad enough, and I was speaking with still a pleasant look on my face, but I didn't want to ruin the date. I just wanted him to have some fucking respect. The disappointment that overcame me in those moments was nearly more than I could manage with a straight face. I was SO SHOCKED. And why couldn't he hear "no"? Why would he ever think that was okay...and okay to do over and over? I need my therapist.

Now he was not much bigger than me and I was never concerned for my safety. Why did he think that was okay? I was wearing a shirt that showed cleavage which I never really do, but I was being a little sassy and it's summer. Did he think it was okay because he could see my cleavage? Did he just want sex from me and nothing else? What what what?

Finally he gets that this is not going to happen the way he wants. We hit one last bar and have a drink, then head back to the car as the sun starts setting. Never in this time was he physically affectionate, other than the groping. The drive back was fine, and when we approached my house, he asked where people park when they come over. I tell him, and start to think "Why? Why do you want to know? You are not parking. You are dropping me off you arrogant assumptive asshole." So he's parking the car and I don't know what to do. All of this is making me realize that I do need to be meaner when someone is out of line. I tend to want to make light of it, but I needed to just ask him what he was doing and tell him no no no no.

After the car is parked, I grab my coat and go to get out... Then he says to me in this quiet wished-he-sounded-sexy voice, "Do you want me to come in? We could have a glass of wine and talk." I abruptly said, "No. I don't think that's a good idea. I had fun today but I don't want to do that." He said "I understand." Wine? Talk?! Do I have "stupid" on my forehead? And for the love of mary magdaline, joseph, noah and his arc...WHY would you ask me that?! Why? Why? WHY?!!!!!! ...After I clearly did not want that...if you know the answer, help me understand. If I missing something, tell me. Please.

The minute I shut the door to my condo behind me, I burst into tears. I don't understand what I am doing wrong, or if it has to do with me at all. I don't know how to fix it. It was so nice, and then so bad. I DO know that I am all done for now. That one broke me. Enough is enough.