Sunday, May 4, 2008

Yawn...

I decided I'm just not calling Skinny Man. It's dragged on for too long now. Let's put him to bed. Done.

Now that that's out of the way, let's get back to The Lawyer. My Sat date both bored and confused me...I relinquished very expensive tickets to a fundraiser to go on this "date." He had to be at a family function beforehand and so our "date" went from being dinner in the city (which he still has not rounded up enough time to really have with me), to apps in the burbs. In his defense, he did take me to the Capital Grille. All week I kept asking things like -- should I make a reservation? Do you want me to pick a place and make a reservation? ...and all week he wanted to play it by ear. Ummm, okaaaaay if you say so but I'm pretty sure you can't eat anything anywhere decent at 9pm on sat with no reservations, but hey, I'm sure you have it covered.

He showed up to pick me up well on his way to drunk. This wouldn't be offensive if it made you more fun and you could handle it, but it made him, and me, yawn. First he wanted to make out in the parking lot of the Capital Grille. This car kissing stuff is fine with me, but this is becoming a habit that I don't wish to form. Dude, I'm ready to give it up after the date when we go home. Must you feel me up in the car? Again? Anyway then it got weird because I was like -- no, let's go in.

I mean, I totally took a nap so I could be awake...I got a starbucks coffee, took a couple of shots, and danced around my living room...I was pretty excited for this evening out. Christ I blew drew my hair, curled it, and used hairspray...I looked pretty good actually. I shaved my legs, sprayed some perfume, and cleaned my house. I bought BREAKFAST FOOD! I was ready for fun and a potential night of passion -- or something.

We got in the restaurant which was packed...he was all put off by the number of people and I was like, retard, listen, it's fucking 9pm on Saturday and we are in the nicest restaurant in this fucking suburb. YA IT'S PACKED. That's why baby jesus made reservations. Okay I didn't say that at all, I actually pretended I didn't mind eating my crab cakes standing up and kept smiling and flirting.

One drink into it, and his eyes start CLOSING. He keeps looking at the TV at the bar and nearly nodded off. Listen, I am not boring. I was excited and very "on." He was cleary loaded, and he told me as much even. Typically he is very polite so this whole thing was a major disappointment. He kept saying how that last glass of wine got to him and then gave me his second glass, which was about a half a bottle less than what I needed to cope with my booooooooorrrrring date. Boooooo!

Now comes the part when I'm stupid. I tried to get him to let me drive but he would not. Fine he drove fine but still that's bad. THEN because I truly need some SEX people, I still invited him in. There was no real sex, just messing around which was good enough because foreplay is really where it's at anyway. Then he told me he couldn't stay, but still managed to fall asleep with me for a little bit before leaving. Whatever, what a dud of a night. Drunk is for hanging at a bar in the city, not for eating with a date at the Capital Grille. Alcohol has no boundaries I suppose.

ANYway, I don't know about this. He needs to kick up his level of excitement or something and show some personality that does not involve his hands on my boobs. Which reminds me -- he asked to see them before we went in to the Grille, to which I staunchly responded no way. Who does that? Yes I mean they are lovely, but still. Buy me dinner for fuck's sake and pretend that you care to speak with me first. Can you do that?

I'm being a little harsh. He did serve me appetizers all cute and even put my coat on me...no one does that so it was nice. He called me this morning to apologize for being so "tired," which must be boy code for "inappropriately drunk," so he did the right thing. AND, he did call me first thing today, which he seems to do nearly everyday, so how can I complain about that? Now I guess I have to figure out if we can have fun doing things that don't involve sex, making out, or groping...or drinking. I sure hope so, but I'm really on te fence at this point.

Que sera. Oh AND my ex came up in my Match email todday as one of my matches. I guess he's back on the market, and I wonder if I came up in his email. Last time I saw that bastard he was kissing me goodbye at the airport after a trip to the Dominican Republic. "We'll keep in touch." That never works does it?

3 comments:

Macoco said...

Whaaat? Okay I am getting a wee suspicious of the lawyer. Can't spend the night - that spells W I F E to me. I don't know, seems fishy. And who shows up to a date drunk, that is just so inappropriate.

Unknown said...

As I shared with you by email...the new daily mantra, yet again, applies..."Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they really pissed me off." He was a leweser, but think of him as a "gut rehab." ;) Ole! Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Unknown said...

I don't think it spells W I F E, as much as it spells I D I O T....or ED...