Judging a Book By Its Cover

So I went away for a bit and now I am back and dating Witty Man. Sooooooooo, I'm not so sure about this one. This is one of those situations where I'm just not feelin' it, but I can't tell if I just need to give it more time.

Date #1: Dinner and drinks: Well, he's not as witty in person -- that's the first thing. Maybe he's just being shy. I mean he DID crack me up a few times...gave me a grandpa kiss before going separate ways, which was just fine since I didn't want to kiss at that point. Maybe he's not shy since he planted that one on me? Who knows. Wrote the next day to say he had fun and ask me out again.

Date #2: Dinner and a movie: WOW! A guy who just wants to get food and see a flick like in the olden days when men actually courted women and dated them before sticking their hands in anyone's shirt. Dreamy. So I go to his house and we take his car. Now things start to get weird. Okay so he has this house, which is only 5 minutes from my house incidentally, and when he gave me the tour, I was pretty shocked at the place. Between you and me, what a dump. Oh shit did I say that? Ya ummm, okay I'm fine wiuth old houses and all and I admit to being a snob about such things a little, but this place had carpet that must have been at least 20 years old. The curtains and decor, ahem, the WALLPAPER, looked to be straight from grandma's house. Clearly this guys needs a women in his life. To top it off, every inch of th eplace was covered in crap. That's the only way to put it really...LOTS of crap...books, tools, pieces of things he has taken apart, papers, clothes, and old crap that you never use like the Lateral Thigh Trainer and 7 yellowed old pillows...and there was dust everywhere. Gross. I just kept thinking, "I could NEVER live like this." ANYwho, we grab some food and see Iron Man. Then there was that awkward 15 year-old feeling of having shoulders that were touching but not actually holding hands or anything. I put my hand on my knee in that "see, it's right here, wanna hold my hand" kinda way. No dice. Before I went home, two more grandpa kisses. Ok enough now. Asks me out again next day.

Date #3: Three days later he invites me over to watch a movie at his house that we had talked about the date before. we're just gonna grab some take out and chill. This is good. I can't tell if he's shy or what, but I need a spark or something bc I'm getting bored and the more I learn about him, the older he seems. Like old man old, not mature man old. Once over there, I start to really take a closer look at his house...I ask him about the kids on his fridge and learn he's not sure which is which or which goes with what friend (red flag -- does this guy even like kids?). He has a pile of magazines in the bathroom that must be at least 50 deep. First, girls don't want to see that because it makes us imagine you pooping in there reading which is NOT attractive. Second, can this guy throw anything out? No wonder there's crap everywhere. We watch the movie, I snuggle closer, he puts his arm around me, fine fine. Movie ends and I realize he's slouched on the couch and his T shirt is riding up his belly and all of a sudden he looks even older...we talk for another hour and he's talking about his friend who just had a baby and saying things like "i don't know how he does it. i don't think I could ever watch that...now he's always trying to escape for some rest." Again, fine, but there is nothing warm and fuzzy about kids or family to him. At least not at that moment. Then he kisses me again and at this point he is becoming less and less attractive to me so I'm really hoping I get a little heat here or we're doomed...here it goes ladies, smooch smooch smooch...like 5 grandpa kisses. I'm REALLY trying to get him to kiss me, like REALLY kiss me, but he's just not. Maybe he doesn't know how. I don't fucking know. He got touchier in that he would touch my leg for a second, then maybe touch my hair for a second...he definitely seems shy.

Here's the thing: I want to like him. He's nice and polite which, alone, is really refreshing. He's strange and sort of shy but he used to be a sniper in the army for christ's sake and he writes with such wit, that I have to believe there is someone more fun under there...someone younger. What i saw, however, the entire evening, was a guy who is letting himself go for lack of a better description, doesn't clean his house and in general is a slob, is lacking the zest for life that he spoke of in his profile, doesn't really like kids so much, and in general, needs someone to take care of him...not a good kisser. I don't want to judge a book by its cover here. Maybe there is something more that I'll really like. I'm just not physically attracted to him. NOW what will I do? Damn damn.