I know I know, I am totally late here. I promise to deliver more prompt updates in the future. I’ll let you know where I am with SBM, the Sharpshooter, and Cat Man, but first, the moment that goes down as #1 funny moment this week so far:
I have decided I want to get a firearm. Don’t be scared. It’s for protection. We could argue all day about safety and our constitutional rights, but it’s all insignificant to the story. Cat Man has been asking me out ever since our first jazz brunch date THREE WEEKS AGO. People, even I know enough to know that if someone doesn’t go on a second date with me in 3 weeks, they aren’t interested…ANYway, he tells me that he is taking a firearm safety class, and this is something I wanted to do, so I say okay – I’ll go. Two birds with one stone, right?
Cat Man meets me at the place and we grab a bite to eat before it starts. That’s fine…sort of uncomfortable because it really reminds me how little I am attracted to him. This class is 4 hours. He makes immature jokes under his breath and basically doesn’t take it seriously. This really annoyed me. We are not in 3rd grade. We are talking about GUNS that shoot people. Fucking pay attention. As the class proceeds, I like him less and less. The best part though, was the moment that we’re sort of talking towards the end, and he makes this face, leans forward and says “is that a hickey on your neck?” Ummmm, OOOPS, ah “ya, it is.”
After class, he tries to kiss me again. I do not let him. Again. Yuck. The next day, Cat Man is texting me “Happy Tuesday!” So this is it – I tell him that I dig him and think it’s fun to hang out, but I don’t have a romantic connection to him. No response. Well, I guess that’s that then.
SBM: We had our fourth date on Saturday…met for dinner, saw a session in the international film festival. He didn’t kiss me hello or hold my hand – awkward. I’m still thinking about sex non stop based on the previous weekend and after the movie, I’m like “ssoooooo, we can grab a drink, or something to eat…or, I mean if you want you can come over.” It was so funny – he’s like “ya ya let’s do that.” Okay then. Off we go. We hang on the couch and talk for a few hours before we kiss for the first time that day. Sort of weird. Anyway I tell him he can stay and he pulls out a toothbrush! Now, as a woman who is usually prepared (I had my toothbrush in the car when we met!), I can respect this, but still I was like – wow, expecting some action? Ha.
Anyway, he’s really sweet and stuff. I could do without the snoring, but whatev…in the morning I suggest we go to breakfast and he tells me he has to work. No breakfast?! What are you TALKING about?! I learn his day is planned out in regard to work, like, by the hour. Ummmm, okay. I’m sensing this guy is a bit rigid. I’m wondering if he can be normal, or if this workaholic shit is really going to be in the way. Now I’m getting kind of scared. I don’t want to be with some boy who can’t eat breakfast with me on a Sunday. Sunday was also the day that I saw I had 3 hickeys on my neck. Big DARK ones! Tough to hide man…Good lord baby jesus. Two more notes: On Sat night he told me he missed me in a pretty intimate way, especially bc you don't usually heear that so soon. Then this week he told me he was having withdrawal from me. Perhaps he means sex. I’m not sure, but I would surely like to see him too.
Friday night, before the date with SBM, I have my first date with the Sharpshooter. Incidentally, he is not Mexican. He is from Bolivia. Duh. Okay so as he approaches me outside the restaurant, I see him – a short, balding man. Oh man. I think “just get through it. You can go home early.” Turns out he is the most attentive date I have ever had. I swear he read my mind at least twice. He has a lot of vitality and a pretty dynamic personality. By the end of the date, I thought he was very attractive, and I loved that.
The following Wednesday (last night) we had a second date. We went and played pool, which apparently is my go-to second date. We had a lot of fun. Still no kiss, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that anyway. He was cute though. He asked me when I can go out again and told me he wants to cook for me. One for the sharpshooter!
So that’s it. Two very different men. My who-ha is certainly finding this all refreshing…OH and I was eating some oysters by myself the other night, and I was asked to be in a threesome with a couple at the bar! I must be exuding sex!
Lata peeps.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Back on Track
SBM called me tonight. Luckily I hadn't eaten an entire pizza or drank more than one glass of wine yet...he wanted to see how I was and ask me if I couldd get dinner this week. I was tempted to reschedule plans with a friend, but I decided that he is just late in asking and now I'm booked and he'll have to wait until Saturday.
I need to be more patient and just chill out. I'm learning that he may be a serious workaholic which could prove to be a dealbreaker. I'm also realizing that I don't even know if this guy has friends. I have to chill, step back, and keep dating other people.
Incidentallly, the Mexican is the Sharpshooter. He's on Friday. More to come:-)
I need to be more patient and just chill out. I'm learning that he may be a serious workaholic which could prove to be a dealbreaker. I'm also realizing that I don't even know if this guy has friends. I have to chill, step back, and keep dating other people.
Incidentallly, the Mexican is the Sharpshooter. He's on Friday. More to come:-)
From Zero to 60...Then Back to Zero
Cat Man and I decide to meet for a Jazz brunch on Sunday. I think this is a good idea…definitely a place I have wanted to try in the past so it can’t be a total wash, right? Right. I call him because I am a couple of minutes late, and he says he is in the same boat. Fine. I had made a reservation so I let her know that we’re running late as I wait for him. Cut to 15 minutes later and he calls me. Frantic. "Where did you park?! I can’t find ANY parking…I mean the problem is every time I see a spot, someone else takes it!” He repeats these words for at least 10 minutes. I become a therapist, “It’s okay. You’ll find a spot. It’s just busy. Take your time. We are not in a rush. Don’t freak out.” In the meantime I am thinking I’m hungry and now we’ve lost our reservation. Damn damn. More importantly, why is he whining like this? What did he think I would do? Wave a wand and make him a space? What?
He arrives, we sit…I swear he is still gay as ever to me, but whatever.
Don’t be judgmental
Don’t be judgmental
Don’t be judgmental
Okay…food is ordered. Conversation is okay. We talk a lot about travel and he tells me …"We are definitely going to Costa Rica together. You just let me know when you want to go…” I don’t understand why he thinks I’d go anywhere with him at this point, but this dude has a STRONG personality. Then he throws in weird flirting like, “I have a king sized bed…maybe one day you can lay in it…” Wink wink dude…no thanks. I remind him he has a cat. He mentions changing the sheets. I’m like – “I know we talked about the cat thing. I can’t EVER sleep in your bed. Do you understand??" I’ll spare the rest of you that conversation, but he doesn’t get it.
Date is done, he walks me to my car, he tries to kiss me, I give him my cheek, done. You know, he is very energetic and upbeat. He loves travel and would try anything, and I love that. Good lord baby jesus though, he is not turning me on WHAT.SO.EVER. I’m sorry, he’s just not…and instead of asking me out again, he says – let me know when you ant to hang out again. And I’m thinking – probably not ever – but okay. Since then, he’s sent me one “how are you?” and two “happy Friday” texts. He also sent me a text saying “let me know when you are free so we can hang out.” I don’t know. I don’t want to waste our time, but maybe I’ll like him if I see him again?
Skip to the next day – Monday – and I have date number two with SBM. Yay! We meet at a semi-ghetto pool hall for some fun. I dig this place and I dig him so it’s all good. He is just SUCH a hottie, at least to me. My body likes his body. I know this immediately. I am also deprived of sex at this point, so you do the math.
ANYwho, we grab a bite at a pub, good conversation, everything is fine. Then we play some pool. I love this, although in retrospect, I think he was letting me win! Hmmmm, tricky. Anyway, he looked FINE in jeans, and he is a lovely mix of polite engineer geek with bad ass motherfucker. This combination is very attractive. After pool, we chill on a couch and chat chat chat. Is this guy ever going to kiss me? He gives me some insight into his baggage, which I didn’t ask for, but okay…something introspective about having to always be responsible and never really have had fun…blah blah. It was interesting enough. He walks me to my car, HUGS me (booooooooo!!!), and off we go.
The next day I have an email that he wrote that night. He basically tells me it was great to hang out. A few days later he says “I have a strong desire to just bum around with you. Maybe we can watch a movie or something?” Strong desire? Well yes! We most certainly can watch whatever you want.
A few days later, he is arriving at my house with a stack of movies. When he took his coat off, he was wearing a T shirt and to my delight, the arm that protruded from said shirt was DE.LI.CIOUS. Oh my god oh my god, is that his ARM?! Look at that bicep! OMG don’t touch him. Do not touch him. Be cool. Calm down. Control yourself and do NOT touch him!! My mind was going haywire as I said, “Wanna cocktail or something?” I so love how this all unfolded…we ordered food, blah blah, but in the end, it was like we were 16 again. Everyone knows that “watching a movie” is code for making out. Duh. And did we ever…did I say DE-LI-CIOUS yet? God I’m getting hot just thinking about how Mr. didn’tevenkissmeontheseconddate turned into Mr. Makeout…the trigger: a kiss on the cheek. Works every time, ladies. Kiss a boy on the cheek that wants to kiss you, and it’s like giving him a green light.
The movie ends, and despite all the heat, nothing much has happened here between us here…physically I mean. Of course now there are no more trains going, and he doesn’t want me to drive him bc I have been drinking. I didn’t plan this, but I can’t say that subconsciously I wasn’t trying to get myself into this situation. So I tell him he can stay if he wants. I proceed to just put my jammies on and get in bed bc honestly, I never expected more to happen, although in retrospect, I don’t know why I thought that.
Of course we did it. Yes IT. I don’t mean to kiss and tell…well yes of course I do…but it was the best…ahhh correction…it was the second best sex I have ever had. Trust me, this is a compliment considering the amount of sex I've had...eithat that or a sad commentary on the skills of most men. I’m not sure if that’s bc I wanted it so badly or if it was actually that good (like water in a dessert people), but it was well worth any awkward moments before or after. He is BEAUTIFUL…good lord muscles are straight out intoxicating to me, and his shoulder is the size of my head, and it drove me crazy.
Okay, then crappy sleep. Then the morning – it all happens again, which of course is confirming that things are not weird right? That wasn’t just alcohol right bc it happened again in the morning. RIGHT? I mean HE woke ME up…and he was all sweet and smiley and cute and saying nice things and being affectionate…which as an aside, I find is completely lacking with men. It’s so easy you idiots – put your hand under my head, kiss my shoulder, smile at me. Dummies…but I digress…
It’s time to get up. I offer to make him breakfast and he’s like no thanks. I offer like 3 more times. Nothing. I offer to drive him home. He’s like the T is fine. I offer 3 more times. Nothing. That weird physically conservative self that he was before our first kiss came back. Maybe he has intimately issues anywhere BUT in the bedroom? Why didn’t he want me to make breakfast? I bring him to the T. He kisses me goodbye (grandpa kiss. Nothing good). And off he goes.
So here it is: I spend ALL DAY thinking about everything he did that night. Actually I have spent everyday since that day thinking about these things and playing it over and over, because aside from the actual sex, he really was super affectionate. I know I need that – BADLY. I probably need affection far more than sex and use sex as a means to an end. I know this. I know I didn’t have to give it up on date # 3, but it was NICE. So I send him a short email telling him that I didn’t expect that to happen, but I’m not sorry that it did and it was nice to be close to him…blah and thanks for trekking out to my place blah blah. Like 5 sentences. Then I check my email over and over again. Waiting. WAITING…why isn’t he writing back? …and I swear I start to panic...oh no not again…OMG maybe he thinks I am not thin enough. Maybe he’s looking at me thinking how fantastic he looks and how I’m just not up to par. Maybe I ruined it by having sex? Maybe he is afraid. What? WHAT? One day passes…at the end of the second day I call him and say hi and ask him if he wants to grab a bite – nothing big – just say hi. He say no! Not “no” no, but he is working and says he is “in the middle of something,” but thanks for thinking of him…and I’m thinking that’s ALL I can think of…I find him intoxicating and now I am like an SBM crack head. I need a fix and he’s not biting.
Today is the 3rd day since he’s left my house. I checked my email roughly 300 times and nothing. Honestly, I have a stomach ache. What is happening? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?! And the best part is that I actually had a different first date this weekend and it’s like none of these boy are doing it for me because now I just want this one…but I have to push forward. In fact, I am meeting the Mexican (is that even his name?) on Friday. This is fine. Cat Man keeps trying to see me…but I can’t help but feel like shit. SBM doesn’t like me and I don’t know why and now I feel like a fucking lunatic stalking my own email for a sign of him…
For all of my friends who say – ya that sounds like fun…all that dating must be a good time right? No. What it is is a rollercoaster. One day I am excited and happy. The next day I feel like a throw-away. Let’s chant:
SBM is nice and he does not mean to be hurtful
SBM finds me attractive because I AM
I will not continue to fret over this boy
I will not cry if he never writes back
SBM is nice and he does not mean to be hurtful
SBM finds me attractive because I AM
I will not continue to fret over this boy
I will not cry if he never writes back
And not for nothing, but he actually made reference to having children…and I quote “I’ll have babies with you.” That’s what he said to me. Of course that’s a fucking retarded retard thing to say on a third date, but it still sounded like hope to me. Cocktail. I need a cocktail immediately.
He arrives, we sit…I swear he is still gay as ever to me, but whatever.
Don’t be judgmental
Don’t be judgmental
Don’t be judgmental
Okay…food is ordered. Conversation is okay. We talk a lot about travel and he tells me …"We are definitely going to Costa Rica together. You just let me know when you want to go…” I don’t understand why he thinks I’d go anywhere with him at this point, but this dude has a STRONG personality. Then he throws in weird flirting like, “I have a king sized bed…maybe one day you can lay in it…” Wink wink dude…no thanks. I remind him he has a cat. He mentions changing the sheets. I’m like – “I know we talked about the cat thing. I can’t EVER sleep in your bed. Do you understand??" I’ll spare the rest of you that conversation, but he doesn’t get it.
Date is done, he walks me to my car, he tries to kiss me, I give him my cheek, done. You know, he is very energetic and upbeat. He loves travel and would try anything, and I love that. Good lord baby jesus though, he is not turning me on WHAT.SO.EVER. I’m sorry, he’s just not…and instead of asking me out again, he says – let me know when you ant to hang out again. And I’m thinking – probably not ever – but okay. Since then, he’s sent me one “how are you?” and two “happy Friday” texts. He also sent me a text saying “let me know when you are free so we can hang out.” I don’t know. I don’t want to waste our time, but maybe I’ll like him if I see him again?
Skip to the next day – Monday – and I have date number two with SBM. Yay! We meet at a semi-ghetto pool hall for some fun. I dig this place and I dig him so it’s all good. He is just SUCH a hottie, at least to me. My body likes his body. I know this immediately. I am also deprived of sex at this point, so you do the math.
ANYwho, we grab a bite at a pub, good conversation, everything is fine. Then we play some pool. I love this, although in retrospect, I think he was letting me win! Hmmmm, tricky. Anyway, he looked FINE in jeans, and he is a lovely mix of polite engineer geek with bad ass motherfucker. This combination is very attractive. After pool, we chill on a couch and chat chat chat. Is this guy ever going to kiss me? He gives me some insight into his baggage, which I didn’t ask for, but okay…something introspective about having to always be responsible and never really have had fun…blah blah. It was interesting enough. He walks me to my car, HUGS me (booooooooo!!!), and off we go.
The next day I have an email that he wrote that night. He basically tells me it was great to hang out. A few days later he says “I have a strong desire to just bum around with you. Maybe we can watch a movie or something?” Strong desire? Well yes! We most certainly can watch whatever you want.
A few days later, he is arriving at my house with a stack of movies. When he took his coat off, he was wearing a T shirt and to my delight, the arm that protruded from said shirt was DE.LI.CIOUS. Oh my god oh my god, is that his ARM?! Look at that bicep! OMG don’t touch him. Do not touch him. Be cool. Calm down. Control yourself and do NOT touch him!! My mind was going haywire as I said, “Wanna cocktail or something?” I so love how this all unfolded…we ordered food, blah blah, but in the end, it was like we were 16 again. Everyone knows that “watching a movie” is code for making out. Duh. And did we ever…did I say DE-LI-CIOUS yet? God I’m getting hot just thinking about how Mr. didn’tevenkissmeontheseconddate turned into Mr. Makeout…the trigger: a kiss on the cheek. Works every time, ladies. Kiss a boy on the cheek that wants to kiss you, and it’s like giving him a green light.
The movie ends, and despite all the heat, nothing much has happened here between us here…physically I mean. Of course now there are no more trains going, and he doesn’t want me to drive him bc I have been drinking. I didn’t plan this, but I can’t say that subconsciously I wasn’t trying to get myself into this situation. So I tell him he can stay if he wants. I proceed to just put my jammies on and get in bed bc honestly, I never expected more to happen, although in retrospect, I don’t know why I thought that.
Of course we did it. Yes IT. I don’t mean to kiss and tell…well yes of course I do…but it was the best…ahhh correction…it was the second best sex I have ever had. Trust me, this is a compliment considering the amount of sex I've had...eithat that or a sad commentary on the skills of most men. I’m not sure if that’s bc I wanted it so badly or if it was actually that good (like water in a dessert people), but it was well worth any awkward moments before or after. He is BEAUTIFUL…good lord muscles are straight out intoxicating to me, and his shoulder is the size of my head, and it drove me crazy.
Okay, then crappy sleep. Then the morning – it all happens again, which of course is confirming that things are not weird right? That wasn’t just alcohol right bc it happened again in the morning. RIGHT? I mean HE woke ME up…and he was all sweet and smiley and cute and saying nice things and being affectionate…which as an aside, I find is completely lacking with men. It’s so easy you idiots – put your hand under my head, kiss my shoulder, smile at me. Dummies…but I digress…
It’s time to get up. I offer to make him breakfast and he’s like no thanks. I offer like 3 more times. Nothing. I offer to drive him home. He’s like the T is fine. I offer 3 more times. Nothing. That weird physically conservative self that he was before our first kiss came back. Maybe he has intimately issues anywhere BUT in the bedroom? Why didn’t he want me to make breakfast? I bring him to the T. He kisses me goodbye (grandpa kiss. Nothing good). And off he goes.
So here it is: I spend ALL DAY thinking about everything he did that night. Actually I have spent everyday since that day thinking about these things and playing it over and over, because aside from the actual sex, he really was super affectionate. I know I need that – BADLY. I probably need affection far more than sex and use sex as a means to an end. I know this. I know I didn’t have to give it up on date # 3, but it was NICE. So I send him a short email telling him that I didn’t expect that to happen, but I’m not sorry that it did and it was nice to be close to him…blah and thanks for trekking out to my place blah blah. Like 5 sentences. Then I check my email over and over again. Waiting. WAITING…why isn’t he writing back? …and I swear I start to panic...oh no not again…OMG maybe he thinks I am not thin enough. Maybe he’s looking at me thinking how fantastic he looks and how I’m just not up to par. Maybe I ruined it by having sex? Maybe he is afraid. What? WHAT? One day passes…at the end of the second day I call him and say hi and ask him if he wants to grab a bite – nothing big – just say hi. He say no! Not “no” no, but he is working and says he is “in the middle of something,” but thanks for thinking of him…and I’m thinking that’s ALL I can think of…I find him intoxicating and now I am like an SBM crack head. I need a fix and he’s not biting.
Today is the 3rd day since he’s left my house. I checked my email roughly 300 times and nothing. Honestly, I have a stomach ache. What is happening? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?! And the best part is that I actually had a different first date this weekend and it’s like none of these boy are doing it for me because now I just want this one…but I have to push forward. In fact, I am meeting the Mexican (is that even his name?) on Friday. This is fine. Cat Man keeps trying to see me…but I can’t help but feel like shit. SBM doesn’t like me and I don’t know why and now I feel like a fucking lunatic stalking my own email for a sign of him…
For all of my friends who say – ya that sounds like fun…all that dating must be a good time right? No. What it is is a rollercoaster. One day I am excited and happy. The next day I feel like a throw-away. Let’s chant:
SBM is nice and he does not mean to be hurtful
SBM finds me attractive because I AM
I will not continue to fret over this boy
I will not cry if he never writes back
SBM is nice and he does not mean to be hurtful
SBM finds me attractive because I AM
I will not continue to fret over this boy
I will not cry if he never writes back
And not for nothing, but he actually made reference to having children…and I quote “I’ll have babies with you.” That’s what he said to me. Of course that’s a fucking retarded retard thing to say on a third date, but it still sounded like hope to me. Cocktail. I need a cocktail immediately.
Friday, April 3, 2009
On the Prowl, Peeps
I started an entry earlier today called easy come, easy go. Now I can say differently because he isn’t going! Woo hoo there is hope! Okay, here’s the word my peeps:
So Sunday I went on a first date with Mr Romance. He was very nice…we met for a lunch at Joe’s American Grill, which is fine. He lives in the burbs so we burbed it up. He was very nice and polite. Moderately attractive. A Sunday afternoon date really is a lot less rowdy than a Friday night date, you know? Anyway, we order the same thing and he talks about getting old and wanting a heathly body. Fine. I love a man who’ll eat a salad with me. Lots of work talk blah blah blah…I find myself advising him on how to deal with a disrespectful employee blah… Finally the conversation turns:
Him: You know, I’m not so good at small talk. I’m sort of philosophical and I like to talk about deep things.
Me: Uh-huh, like what? Religion and politics?
Him: Ya
Me: Well those things are fine. I mean, you’re not going to offend me so I don’t see why they have to be so taboo.
Him: I’m not easily offended either! That’s great!
Me: Well now that we have that out of the way, I can tell you I don’t believe in God. Do you?
At this point the date will either blow up, or it will get better. I love to create a moment like this (which is probably why I am single). His face lights up, smiles…he is pretty psyched to talk about religion with me. We talk for two more hours. That same day he emails me to say he wants to go out again. Because I can’t keep up, I respond about 3 days later saying sure. It’s been two days and I haven’t heard back. We’ll see. Maybe I’m in his spam filter. He was okay. Not a lot of chemistry but nice guy and good potential.
Okay SO…SBM and I set up a date after a number of witty emails. He is REALLY witty and I so heart that. Who doesn’t want to laugh? He meets me for Indian food – YUM – one for the boy! We meet in a loungey place with good drinks. I got there early because I always get to first dates early. I like to get comfortable first. He arrived and halleluiah baby jesus he was better looking than in his picture. He was wearing pink – love that. He was sort of geeky looking…like a little uptight with his laptop bag and stuff, but I don’t know…the way his pink shirt pulled tight around his bicep really got me thinking about what he’d look like with that shirt off. Bad girl!
Whew…SO pretty strong personality…lots to say…totally divulging person shit like life without a dad, what we talk about in therapy (fine what I talk about. Whatever), religion…speaking of…this is a black man from Louisiana originally. His mom is Re-li-gious. I ask him if he wants to get married in a church then…”Nah, I’d prefer a beach,” he says. That’s it. I am in love. Okay I am 3 cocktails in but who’s counting, so is he – AND he’s drinking some orange mango martini thingy. This man seems secure. He’s a joker for sure. Definitely a cover-up. He divulges that he used to be a “dick.” He said it, not me. I’m not psyched about that, but I guess if he knows then he has his dickiness under control? Let’s hope.
Nearly 5 hours later, we wrap up. He calls me to make sure I got home okay. Hug goodbye – he is way too responsible to try and kiss on the first date…possibly conservativish in his actions. I know that’s not a word. Neither is dickiness or loungey.
THEN, I’m like – don’t freak out. Don’t chase him. DON’T DO IT! And of course I am checking my stupid email 37 times an hour waiting for it to say “SBM from eharmony has sent you a message.” After almost a day, I write him a brief note saying I had fun and I hope we can meet again. Done. I don’t hear from him for the whole day. Now I am frustrated and sad because I got excited and now he doesn’t like me and, as usual, I am certain it is because I am not attractive enough (I know I know). My self esteem is in the gutter come today. Fucking boys. Sure I have first dates with 5 more right behind him, but I liked him. He really cracked my shit up. Grrr… Then, as a shining light came from above, I checked my hotmail and there it was – I clicked it open in anticipation like Charlie opening the last golden ticket…the hourglass is on my screen…”is it him? Is it him? IS IT?!” IT IS!!! Yay. In record time I log into EH to find that he totally had fun and would like to go out with me again. I do recall telling him I could kick his ass in pool and he says he’d like to accept that challenge.
People, love is in the motherfucking air today. Let’s chant:
I am attractive
My SBM digs me
I will not be a slut and have second date sex
I will have a RELATIONSHIP
I am attractive
My SBM digs me
I will not be a slut and have second date sex
I will have a RELATIONSHIP
Yay. Cat Man first date coming on Sunday…possibly fitting in Mr. Suburban on Sat. Ex-bf professes that he wants to get back together and have babies (better known as the biggest asshole I have ever dated). We’ll address that later, so as to not infringe upon my second date conversation afterglow.
xoxo
So Sunday I went on a first date with Mr Romance. He was very nice…we met for a lunch at Joe’s American Grill, which is fine. He lives in the burbs so we burbed it up. He was very nice and polite. Moderately attractive. A Sunday afternoon date really is a lot less rowdy than a Friday night date, you know? Anyway, we order the same thing and he talks about getting old and wanting a heathly body. Fine. I love a man who’ll eat a salad with me. Lots of work talk blah blah blah…I find myself advising him on how to deal with a disrespectful employee blah… Finally the conversation turns:
Him: You know, I’m not so good at small talk. I’m sort of philosophical and I like to talk about deep things.
Me: Uh-huh, like what? Religion and politics?
Him: Ya
Me: Well those things are fine. I mean, you’re not going to offend me so I don’t see why they have to be so taboo.
Him: I’m not easily offended either! That’s great!
Me: Well now that we have that out of the way, I can tell you I don’t believe in God. Do you?
At this point the date will either blow up, or it will get better. I love to create a moment like this (which is probably why I am single). His face lights up, smiles…he is pretty psyched to talk about religion with me. We talk for two more hours. That same day he emails me to say he wants to go out again. Because I can’t keep up, I respond about 3 days later saying sure. It’s been two days and I haven’t heard back. We’ll see. Maybe I’m in his spam filter. He was okay. Not a lot of chemistry but nice guy and good potential.
Okay SO…SBM and I set up a date after a number of witty emails. He is REALLY witty and I so heart that. Who doesn’t want to laugh? He meets me for Indian food – YUM – one for the boy! We meet in a loungey place with good drinks. I got there early because I always get to first dates early. I like to get comfortable first. He arrived and halleluiah baby jesus he was better looking than in his picture. He was wearing pink – love that. He was sort of geeky looking…like a little uptight with his laptop bag and stuff, but I don’t know…the way his pink shirt pulled tight around his bicep really got me thinking about what he’d look like with that shirt off. Bad girl!
Whew…SO pretty strong personality…lots to say…totally divulging person shit like life without a dad, what we talk about in therapy (fine what I talk about. Whatever), religion…speaking of…this is a black man from Louisiana originally. His mom is Re-li-gious. I ask him if he wants to get married in a church then…”Nah, I’d prefer a beach,” he says. That’s it. I am in love. Okay I am 3 cocktails in but who’s counting, so is he – AND he’s drinking some orange mango martini thingy. This man seems secure. He’s a joker for sure. Definitely a cover-up. He divulges that he used to be a “dick.” He said it, not me. I’m not psyched about that, but I guess if he knows then he has his dickiness under control? Let’s hope.
Nearly 5 hours later, we wrap up. He calls me to make sure I got home okay. Hug goodbye – he is way too responsible to try and kiss on the first date…possibly conservativish in his actions. I know that’s not a word. Neither is dickiness or loungey.
THEN, I’m like – don’t freak out. Don’t chase him. DON’T DO IT! And of course I am checking my stupid email 37 times an hour waiting for it to say “SBM from eharmony has sent you a message.” After almost a day, I write him a brief note saying I had fun and I hope we can meet again. Done. I don’t hear from him for the whole day. Now I am frustrated and sad because I got excited and now he doesn’t like me and, as usual, I am certain it is because I am not attractive enough (I know I know). My self esteem is in the gutter come today. Fucking boys. Sure I have first dates with 5 more right behind him, but I liked him. He really cracked my shit up. Grrr… Then, as a shining light came from above, I checked my hotmail and there it was – I clicked it open in anticipation like Charlie opening the last golden ticket…the hourglass is on my screen…”is it him? Is it him? IS IT?!” IT IS!!! Yay. In record time I log into EH to find that he totally had fun and would like to go out with me again. I do recall telling him I could kick his ass in pool and he says he’d like to accept that challenge.
People, love is in the motherfucking air today. Let’s chant:
I am attractive
My SBM digs me
I will not be a slut and have second date sex
I will have a RELATIONSHIP
I am attractive
My SBM digs me
I will not be a slut and have second date sex
I will have a RELATIONSHIP
Yay. Cat Man first date coming on Sunday…possibly fitting in Mr. Suburban on Sat. Ex-bf professes that he wants to get back together and have babies (better known as the biggest asshole I have ever dated). We’ll address that later, so as to not infringe upon my second date conversation afterglow.
xoxo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)